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July 15, 2005

COOKIN' IT UP, HOOKIN' IT UP













Baked Macaroni and Cheese, it's What's for Dinner...> On the side, Collard Greens with Turkey Bacon, Garlic & Onion; plus a nice, fat, juicy steak for the man of the house.

In the mail, rain, sleet, snow or hail, even though it's hotta than Hell Rell (well, besides my m'fukken check!) DJ J.Period's slammin new mix, The Best of Lauryn Hill (featuring Ms. Hill her-damn-self!); not to mention the new DVD/CD package from Queensbridge hustla LITTLES, entitled Reloaded/The Queensbridge Ghettomentary. On the way...FREESTYLE: The Art of Rhyme DVD review, your BLISS review (Ms. Danyel Smith, congratulations on this new book, I salute you! You were laying the foundation for all this when I was just a lickle youth in the game freelancing for Rap Pages...THANK U.) And, since I'm trying to put everything in writing these days, I promise, soon come, the historical breakdown of the name(s) - Miranda Jane (MJ) AND Pyramids 2 Projects; giving it up to those who came before me, and after me! It goes down.

Fa'shiggadale. Had an interesting convo with a handsome young gentleman-friend of mines, J-Minix (like J-Mix with the Yay Area on it) earlier today, breaking down how a lot of New York and L.A. (and Down South) rappers have co-opted the Bay slanguistics for their own use. Watch this spot for a lesson in the origins of your favorite lenguas, and remember if it didn't come from E-40, it musta had came from DJs Lord Sear & Bobbito "Cucumber Slice" Garcia - fine purveyors of "no homo", "pause", and all that old C.M. Famalam shiznit.

And while I won't go into the deep-ass recipes for tonight's dinner, I will share with you'all the recipe for Mr. E-40's libation, GORILLA MILK. Mix some Christian Brothers brandy with some Fridays Club Mudslide Mix, with ice if you take your draank cold. Don't ask/axe me how many parts brandy to mix, I have no freakin' idea and I wasn't trying to pressure Feezy/Forty-Water, yo' Playa Potna (eva since the womb, he been a tycoon), for the precise measurements. Let's Get Drunk (and throw up in the car?) It's that fire tho, I put that on The Click.

Hmmm... In the mail today,
Freestyle. Finally. Peep Rae's Spot for some background on this one. I've seen this film in so many forms, I'm excited to crack the package, throw it up in the DVD player, and see what the final product has in store for Hip Hop.

On the phone today, DJ J.Period, Tragedy Khadafi, and the illustrious
Dipset Capo himself, Jimmy Jones. He gave me the FUEGO quote for my piece, thank God, and that'll be comin' at ya'll 1st thing next week.

Also a couple of very interesting emails came across today, and I'm sure more than that 'cause there's dozens left unopened as I take this short break to a) finalize the cooking of said greens, mac and cheese, etc. (big ups to my girl Ms. Sugal for hookin' up that steak so I didn't have to wang with it at all); b) drink me a nice big tall icey glass of half Mango nectar/half Strawberry nectar (
KERNS! What's up with some product placement?) and c) take a much-needed break from trying to edit this leviathan feature with WordPad, whatever archaic software this shit is, which does not feature little luxuries such as word count nor spellcheck. If I never liked
Bill Gates before, I like his ass today.

Huge, massive, strong, big-it-ups to Tachelle Wilkes who did a high-powered interview with me for
www.femmixx.com; keep your ears peeled for that to pop up sometime in July, I hope. Tachelle is awesome, as is her partner on the site, Gary. If you've not familiarized yourself with Femmixx.com, please do so ASAP.

U may notice a change in the blogsite, in the form of a couple of banner ads & search engines. I won't have any pop-up ads for penile enlargement, I promise... And my love don't cost a thing. But somehow I gotta pay for all this 'lectricity, the faultellulesses/cellie-cells, and the internets. And I suppose I gotta eat too...

So. She cooks, she writes, she edits, she emails, she drinks juice, she writes, she blogs, she reads, she watches, she listens, she asks the tough questions, she's interviewed, she laughs, she edits. One thing tho...she don't sleep. Like we used to say at
The 'Plex, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK.

Stayin' strong...

Mira, ja Una

p.s. To any/all editors and/or publishers who may be/are reading Pyramids 2 Projects, I am not illiterate. Nor ignant. I can/will use proper punctuation, pronounciation, and person - within the boundaries of Hip Hop parlance - in a professional environment WHEN $$$ IS INVOLVED. This is just where I free the dome.

XO/Besitos y Abrazos

July 14, 2005

READ THE CLASSICS, VOL. 2 - THA LIKS "LIK SHOTS"


Tash, E-Swift & J-Ro in Black and White...these are Tha Liks

Original piece published in Mass Appeal Magazine circa Tha Liks' X.O. Experience LP push. If I wasn't so janky/gutter and had actual technology at my disposal, such as a scanner, I'd scan in the FUEGO images of Tha Liks at the L.A. Gun Club. I conceptualized this photo shoot and the title "Lik Shots"...and illustrious L.A. photographer Lumumba blessed us with the visuals. J-Ro with the bullet between his teeth, on the close-up, one of the greatest Hip Hop shots of all time in my opinion. If you want to see it bad enough, somebody send me a used scanner and a USB cable, and we in bizness. Fat shouts out to mi'jito DJ SOUL in this m'fucka, my music editor from my Mass Appeal days; the realest and best editor I ever worked with in the game. Leave it to a DJ moonlighting as an editor to be the best. Without further chop, I give U...

THA LIKS
"LIK SHOTS"
by Miranda Jane

E-SWIFT
The man. "El 'Mero-Mero," as in El Primero. Number One. When he steps into the room, all eyes are on him. El 'Mero sweeps his gaze across the room, and saunters over to the bar. It's on. Dozens of bitches claw their way toward him, clamoring to be the first one to have the distinct pleasure of buying his royal flyness a drink.

The man - Eric Brooks. The legend - E-Swift. The crew - Likwit. Los 'Meros. If you happen to be the lucky lady to reach the bar first, he'll have a Vodka Gimlet, or a Vodka with Red Bull. "I switch every few months. I'm a vodka drinker right now. I was drinking a lot of dark liquor last year, but it seems like I got immune to it so I had to switch up. Vodka and Red Bull will have you drunk as fuck, and just UP-hype - you just be a wide-awake drunk mothafucka off that shit." X.O., the new album, is clearly the fruit of many a Vodka and Red Bull binge. Never before has Alkaholism sounded so good, or been so productive.

Niggaz know E-Swift best for providing the funk that get it crunk - he's the man responsible for classic Liks material like "Make Room" and Heltah Skeltah's classic "Operation Lockdown". After moving to L.A. from the Midwest, E-Swift garnered a reputation as one of the City of Angels' illest DJs. He studied Production 101 under O.G.'s like Dr. Dre and DJ Pooh, passing the class with flying colors. Swift has remixed for obscure Euro-pop sensation Scritti Politti, held it down for his homie X-to-the-Z through three albums, and has recently shot some tracks to Method Man for some new-school Wu. E-Swift - the man with the plan.

J-RO

El 'Mero. J-Ro. James Robinson. ( ** Editors note - Freeway Slick I'm Rick James Bitch Robinson, new for 2005) MC extraordinaire. Scholar. World traveler. Sportscaster. Comedian. Alkaholik. The man. This Hip Hop drunkie needs no introduction. Ladies, if you have the opportunity to purchase J-Ro a drink, he prefers a Captain Morgan's Rum and Coke. Spicy. Just don't offer him a Jack Daniels. "I was the first member of the Balcony Club. Over at King T's house. It was his birthday. Ice-T brought over a gallon of Jack Daniels. A gallon. I ended up being the only one drinking. I'm drinkin, and drinkin, but I'm not getting drunk. King T stayed up on the 5th floor, and the homeboy helped me to the balcony and I was like..." Yes, J-Ro cold hurled over the balcony. "It ended up being like five other people that threw up off that balcony, and that was the Balcony Club."

J-Ro is the introspective Lik, the one who takes time to sit back and ponder the deep questions in life. He's studious, and it reflects when he's on the mic. J-Ro is also a family man and a role model for his sons. "I don't know if I'm the only single father in rap music. I got two boys, ages 8 and 9, James Jr. and Louis Jordan. That's what I be doing - if I'm not at the studio, if I ain't doing a show - that's where I'm at." J-Ro is looking forward to the future, and after the rap life has been lived to the fullest, he plans to make a play as a sportscaster. "I used to have a sports show on 92.3 The Beat in L.A. called The Joint, with Mike Nardone and DJ Emz. I would have different athletes come on the air, different rappers read the scores, it was crazy. Then, I did a sports column in Hits Magazine. That's my second career, you might see me on the Superbowl or something."


TASH
El 'Mero. Rico. Also known as Tash, derivitave of Catashtrophe. As in mic skills. "That nigga Rico got hoes!" And they best to stay on their toes. True to his birth name, it takes a rich bitch to buy Tash his signature drink, The Catashtrophe - a quadruple Hennessey (that's four shots, ladies) with a jigga of Alize Red and a splash of Cristal. Not to worry though, should the Cris set you back too far, "You ain't gotta go and spend $300 on the mothafucken Cristal, just spend the hot $30 on the Moet, and it's good. Catashtrophe special coming right up. Better than sex on the beach." Indeed. In so much as Tash is notorious for popping bottles with models, he's also known for mutilating mics and for his entreprenuership. Tash knows better than most what it takes to keep his 8-year-long-and-counting career going strong. "Longevity is a mothafucka. Longevity is the key to this shit, 'cause it was so many groups that came out at the same time we came out. It was a whole wave of poeple that we haven't seen since '95, '96. Then there was another wave, and they fell off. And we still here, still got a record deal, still making albums. Even though the times may change, we don't really change too much, we just look forward to the next day. A lot of people trip off success as, 'Did you go gold or platinum?', this or that. But I'd rather be part of the handful that don't, and make a career out of it, than to be one of the ones who really do overnight it and go platinum, then you don't hear from them."

Tha Alkaholiks, now known as Tha Liks, are The Men. Having raised intoxication to a high art form, Tha Liks are all things to all people. Everyone can depend on them. For instance, each and every Vans Warped Tour ticket-holding, fan club membership-having skater dude depends on Tha Liks to give their all on stage. And, each backstage-creepin, video hoochi-aspiring Liks groupie depends on Tash, E-Swift and J-Ro to rap their asses off at a show, and look real good doing it, doing it, and doing it well. Furthermore, a community of young people depend on The Liks to lead by example, and homies and friends depend on them for jobs in the music business or as recording artists in their own right.

Since Tha Liks debut album 21 & Over came out in 1993, the group has been carrying out a strategy toward world domination. With their fourth opus, X.O., Tha Liks have refined their craft to perfection, inviting a who's-who of Hip Hop and Rap to join them on their inebriated journey. E-Swift breaks down the X.O. guestlist like this, "we invited a gang of people, but the only people who showed up was Busta Rhymes, Kurupt, of course Likwit O.G. King T, Xzibit, Defari...I produced 80% of the album, then we had DJ Scratch who came in and did a joint. The Neptunes, my man Pharell from the Neptunes got down, Rockwilder, DJ Twinz from Redman's camp, and Thayod Ausar - there's enough for everbody, I'm not greedy."

Show after show, album after album, Tha Liks stay on the come-up. They have the longevity and tenacity that the music industry fears the most. Tha Liks are here for the long haul, and they're out to pimp the system. Radio and television haven't backed Tha Alkaholiks, and neither has their label of release, Loud Records. (** Editor's note - Loud is now defunct...hmmmm, I wonder why!?) From RCA to Sony, and with a little Red and Relativity thrown in for good measure, Loud has juxtaposed Tha Liks beside Wu-Tang albums time and time again. Curious, in light of the fact that Tha Liks were with Loud when it was nothing but a desk and a computer. Conspiracy theories aside, there's just no conceivable reason why Tha Liks haven't blown bigger than Hiroshima.

Times are changing, and despite label politics and music biz hijinks, Tha Liks are four albums deep and they've begun to play the game in earnest. No longer will the name "Tha Alkaholiks" prevent them from performing in the bible belt, or hinder the group from appearing on Soul Train or MTV. Not this time - the label copy of X.O. will come out under the group's truncated attribute, "Tha Liks". E-Swift, Tash and J-Ro won't be pigeonholed into a "West Coast rap" category. Tha Liks won't be denied. The mission is clear - they can't stop, won't stop, don't stop.

What the true fans of Tha Liks have left is a series of questions. Where's the push? When will Tha Liks have some liquor sponsors? Why isn't J-Ro hosting shows on ESPN or Fox Sports? Why hasn't Tash been cast in a major film? When will E-Swift finally have his own label, and production deals, with major distribution? And, where can we go to find the answers to these questions? Should we email label execs a la Black Elvis? Blow up TRL's request lines when the first video hits? Inundate radio program directors' 2-ways with demands to hear Tha Liks on major radio? Basically, everyone will have to wait and see if X.O. lives up to its name, finally securing platinum status for the first time in Tha Liks history. Only time will tell if mainstream radio will spin the first single out of control, catapulting Tha Liks up the charts and off the meter. Not to worry. Time is on their side. Yes it is.

** Editor's note - Out of my 250+ pages of print clips, why am I now posting this one for the masses to enjoy anew? 'Cause last time I spoke with E-Swift he divulged the fact that KOCH, under new ownership, is involved with a joint-venture with Tha Liks similar to what we've seen with the Diplomats. Their new, INDEPENDENT, album will be dropping in the Fall, with MAJOR push to radio and video outlets. This ain't the ghost of Loud Records past. It's a new game. Time to tie up all the loose ends. For all my family in this shit, Day by Day Entertainment, 25 to Life Records, Best of the Block, Likwit Crew, Steady Gang, Hieroglyphics, Angeles Records (DJ Muggs/Cypress Hill and Chace Infinite/Self Scientific), and the new ones, the illest ones some of ya'll (n)ever heard - Trunks, Bad Luck, Montage, J-Minix, Carnage, Truth Universal, Adam 7, I-Self Divine, Thirstin Howl III, J.Sands... yeah man, the list goes on and on... U know what time it is. It's finta be 2006... It's FRUITION TIME.

LOVE YA'LL FOR LIFE, Hip Hop is the fountain of youth that keeps me lookin under-18 and getting carded for blunts, lighters and lotto tickets.

July 13, 2005

SHOCK G...Retired? Or Just Tired?


Shock G Will Bust @ U With His Bop Gun...Believe That.

First of all, I highly respect Shock G because of his scientific intelligence, and his pure musical genius. He's truly a legend in the game, and a true musician and artist who can play keyboards and instruments with the best of them. I remember when he was living temporarily in New York, off of East Broadway, working on a film called Fishes Outta Water co-starring Saafir and Fat Joe (sounded like a great m'fucken flick to me, Hollywood, where the fuck is it @ tho??!!). I ran into him walking down the side street and we were both like, "hey, what are YOU doing here" and then "hey, I LIVE here".

He was HOT 'cause at that time a lot of street vendors, ahem let me clear my throat, BOOTLEGGERS were selling hot 'Pac CDs and he literally went up and down the streets and flipped peoples tables, blankets, booths, and what have you over onto the sidewalks of NY. Mind U he's a very tall man, and though incredibly warm and friendly, not nothin nice when provoked. The Bay Area, once again, touches the Universe. Had it not been for Shock G, and Digital Underground, the world might never have known the rap genius of Tupac Amaru Shakur. Mystic would have relegated her singing to the shower, true story, if Shock G hadn't brought out the vocalist in her. And, of course, the world would hardly be the same without the comedic stylings of Humpty Hump. (And yes, you dumb-ass bastards, Shock G and Humpty Hump = the same person; and if you're still asking that old-ass ? you are BURNT).

So imagine my surprise when through the homegirl Monalisa (Happy Birthday) via www.thuglifearmy.com, I read the following statement from G. He'll be sorely missed in the game, however, I FEEL HIM!!!

"I'm retiring from all forms of studio work and song writing.

My reasons for retiring are:


1. I get no satisfaction or fullfillment from it anymore. It doesn't make me happy. On the contrary, it depresses me. Normally I'm not depressed, it's only surrounding the studio. I'm happy when I'm away from the studio.

2. Can't make a living at it. 90% of the studio work I've done in the last 6 years has all been either for free or for peanuts, and hasn't generated any income since.

3. It drives me to do drugs, cause I HATE BEING IN THE STUDIO. To much pressure & expectation for me to make/save/spark someone elses career or project.

4. I quit the studio. Fuck the studio.

5. I can't win in the studio, It's pointless, it's a "catch 22" for me, watch:
If what I do sucks, it tarnishes the legacy, hurts the family, and even lowers the price, and also leaves the artists & involved-companies unhappy; But if what I do shines, it generates more studio work for the future, and furthur traps me in the music business, a business I have no intention of slaving to the rest of my life. I gave it 20 years. I'm done.

6. Every man has the right to the pursuit of happiness and should first try a job that he might gain happiness & fullfillment from. This doesn't make me happy anymore, it makes me miserable and a drug addict.

7. I'm done widdit. Whew!


YES, it already feels great already just to say it!!!


I most likely will try my hand at some of these:


> writing (Afeni assures me this is my true calling everytime she see's me. Maybe she's right?)

> acting

> stage performing, meaning accepting tours or positions in other bands doing keys & background vocals. (IF it's real and if the moneys good. No amatuer or free stuff anymore.)

> regular jobs in service (like clubs, hotels, TV show bands or staff, resturants, who knows?)

> ..and of course still do digital tours cause it PAYS and people don't expect me & Mon (grown men) to work for free, like all the studio requests. I'm 42 and have wants/needs/bills/responsibilities.

So there it is, spread the word, I quit.
I don't make beats, I don't do vocals, I don't write vocals, NONE OF IT.

Those of you who are friends, will be happy for me. Happy that I shook something that was making me miserable.

Those of you who had plans to "use" or manipulate me at the expense of my own health & happiness, will be upset about this. All I can say to those would be, you're free to do whatever you wish, and so am I.

I choose to QUIT.

there it is.
Thanx everybody, spread the word
shock"

July 11, 2005

BIEN COMIDA(S)





Arroz con Pollo...> It's What's for Dinner

In the middle of editing this huge, extensive, multi-faceted feature I'm almost done with (I swear) with the exception of inserting tomorrow's interview with the Dipset King, Mr. Jim Jones; I've been to the grocery store. And I'm just bugging off the difference between making Arroz con Pollo in New York and making it here in Southern California, a/k/a lil' Mexico.

The vegetables are pretty much the same, I can find sweet Vidalia onions, red and green sweet bell peppers, and jalapeno peppers in either place. Chicken, of course, that part is easy. Rice, arroz, pretty much the same, not a problem, no hay problemas con arroz.

Now where's the flavors switch up. I'm in the "international foods" aisle (in this area, San Gabriel, the foods in that aisle should really be everywhere in the grocery store 'cause it's nothing but Asians, Mexicans, Guatemalans, El Salvadorans, etc. here anyway) and it ain't no Goya in sight. NO HAY GOYA. Ai dios mio. So, no sofrito. Instead, busted a move with some Herdez salsa, and a can of Chipotles en Adobo. Add that to some dried oregano, Emeril's essence, Tony Chirone's Creole Seasoning, lime juice, 10 cloves of crushed garlic, and a box of chicken broth courtesy of Swanson's; and we're in bi'ness.

I can't eat this, it's not vegetarian, but my best friend's Esposo, Big H, is over here grubbin up on it. Them Chipotles is kickin' fo sho, he just said "I'm glad I ain't put no hot sauce on this though!" So I guess it's kinda spicy, but he's from the 'hood so it's never too spicy, right? "Whoo, Miranda, you got me over here sweatin'!" Hilarious.

The secret is to saute the chicken in the garlic, oil and a little (did I say a little, I meant a stick) of butter. Then place the chicken in a large baking pan and hook up the vegetables in the garlic-butter-oil til "translucent". Then throw the rice and spice in there, saute that up, mix in the adobo, salsa, and stock; then stir and boil. Then I pour that whole ensemble over the chicken, cover the pan with foil, and bake at 325 for about 25 minutes or until the rice is tender. A little fresh cilantro chopped and sprinkled on top does it justice, apparently.

Then the doorbell rang, with UPS leaving a package containing Ms. Danyel Smith's novel, BLISS. I know what I'm reading tonight! Besides my draft-cum-feature. Almost done, I swear. I SWEAR.

Love is Love,
Business is Business,

Mira, ja Una
La Sirena y Jornalista