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December 08, 2005

HONEYCONE (I'm 'a put it in the want ads)

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY
Intelligent, sexy Queen seeks Rugged Intellectual Thug for life-long mission encompassing Peace After Revolution. Must intend to love me like cooked food, not just love me for my home-cooked food. Fathers welcome...Baby Daddies need not apply. Currenly accepting applications - serious inquiries only - www.myspace.com/mizmirandajane. * References available upon request, or to those who try to test. FYI, a rugged, intellectual thug will fufill or possess all 10 of the below-listed requirements.
RUGGED INTELLECTUAL THUG
1) Brilliance
2) Perseverance
3) Masculinity
4) Tattoos
5) Life-long love for Hip Hop Culture
6) Sensuality
7) A good appetite
8) Someone with a hard-knock life
9) Industry/In-the-Streets lifestyle
10) A Beautiful Visage (that's your face)


Hola Cholas! Classic material from the ride home last night... With my homeboy the Black/Panamanian Cholo and his homeboy (who's in my top 5 right now) who's a regular ol' Cholo...U know the kind from Mexico & Los Angeles? Topic came up in conversation how my homeboy's wife called my crib in BK a few years back TRIPPIN asking me why I was calling her husband.

El Cholo said like this - to my homeboy (and me, I believe, covertly) - "Your wife? She was trippin' like that, holmes? Nah, holmes, I tell my old ladies to RELAX."

yeahdat El Cholo that's what I'm talkin about!!! Regulate and rule where you rest y todas las cosas estan mas tranquilo...tu sabes?

Oh, man, we're really GETTIN BUFF AND STARVIN' TRYING over at ANGELES RECORDS. I've been doing the vegan thing almost everyday...cutting out cheese, butter, etc. for myself (adios, crema!) and fixing soy/tofu-style entrees or fish for Los Veteranos... Also, while my dislocated knee is healing, I've been doing physical therapy and massage on myself for 4 or 5 hours a day when I get home. I've discovered that the bathtub is a ghetto substitute for a swimming pool. Just when I was gettin Hyphy and about to ask someone to borrow a swimming pool I figured out I could twist myself into a pretzel and do some water ballet in the tub.

Oh yeah, my discolated dislocated knee joint. I haven't told that story yet on here. Might have to save that for the autobiography and make ya'll pay for that. You tricks.

Out 4 now...

P.S. Site of the day!
http://www.spliffhuxtable.com/

Check it out, all the Mp3s are inscrumentals, how U love dat?

No disrespect to
www.thetofuhut.com, your'e still #1.....

Not to mention the #1 Songs in Heaven

December 04, 2005

24 Hours 2 Go (I Wanna Be Sedated)


I LEFT U FOR A WHILE BUT IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT, ‘CAUSE IT GAVE ME, JUST ENOUGH TIME TO RECREATE MYSELF…AGAIN.

I’ve been disenchanted with my blog audience recently, so I took a breather. Plus I’m busy as fuck. I’m going to make something real clear to everyone right now. My name is Miranda Jane Tuffli-Fuss Buell-Neidlinger. That’s the long version for you. I go by the name Miranda Jane, for fucken obvious reasons. I’ve always had a lot of names, since birth. My first “nickname” was Bella Jane, moms started callin me that at 2 years old…’cause I was beautiful (still am) and my Granny’s name was Jane and so was mine. Rumour has it that during the weedsmoke-induced stupor that was my homebirth, or I guess after –it was a family affair, I’m told, with special guests in the house to watch the unveiling – there was talk of naming me Marijuana. Then I guess it progressed to the versions thereof, Mary Jane being obvious…but far too plain for such a beautiful girl. So somehow, someway, Miranda Jane was named.

Later on I became a notorious member of JFX…Jeprox, Pare…a Filipino street gang I joined in East Hollywood, Bancroft JHS, circa1986. Being of extreme racial ambiguity, and not speaking a lick of Tagalog, I began to jump a lot of females onto the set. We switched names with ease…at first I was La Huera, then when a much whiter, much blonder member came on she took that one (glad to give it to her!) and I became La Muneca…p/k/a China Doll. That name, and the derivation La Munecita, has followed me through numerous gang affiliations and street ties to this day…even a m’fucka who don’t know me from Eve will call me, “Hey, Dollface!” at a bar…so what the fuck. Then the GRAF SHIT. MIRA22’s been tagged and scrolled and pieced from L.A. to BK to MN to OAK and beyond. Or so I’ve been told. When I opened the first AOL account in 1996, I became MIRA JUANA. Which has been derived as Mira, ja Una. Thanks to Trag Khadaf (love is love KING), I became MJ. Exo changed that to “emjay”. Or was it Nommo 7, I think he said…”emjay, yeah like em-inem, and ‘em.” Meshack Blaq, king of the Kronick “M Jizzle Thug Thizzle”. Big Muggs…MGZA. Cold as ice-est…NO ONE ever calls me Miranda. Hmmmmmmm…..

So I ask this of you people reading in cyberspace, the ones who don’t know me, the ones who never read STRESS Magazine – NY’s illest Hip Hop mag. The ones who think Puffy invented the Remix. The jealous ones who still envy every breath I take, and every move I make. And ESPECIALLY the ignorant…this on is just for you.

I’ll leave the comment spaces open for ya’ll to holla back…but do the knowledge to the vast cache of information, disinformation, misinformation, and MY GODDAMN OPINION, YOU ASSHOLES, comprising the entirety of this site, HOW DID WE GET FROM THE PYRAMIDS TO THE PROJECTS – BEFORE you post some stupid shit, some uninformed shit, or some hater shit. ‘Cause as of right now, I’m taking any of the above-mentioned, and putting them on blast. And this is not the fucken information superhighway, bitches. This is the real world. Anyone can catch a bad one, anytime, anywhere. You can get it how it comes, ‘cause it comes how you get it. Don’t think that you’re getting away with some slick sly shit posting in anonymity…you’re not. You’re only fooling yourself, and making a fool of yourself, if you do this. Plus you don't make us none...we got tattoos older than you kids.

WE’RE HERE TO BUILD. THIS IS UNITY.

I REPRESENT L.A. ... TO THE HEART
LOVE ALLAH
LOS ANGELES
LAS ANGELITAS
THE LOST ANGELS
LAS ASSASSINAS
LIVE AMMO
L.A.…THE LIST GOES ON

PEACE TO BIGGA B. UNITY. BIGGA GAVE US UNITY, HE GAVE US HOPE, HE SHOWED US YOU COULD MAKE MONEY AND KEEP THE PURITY OF HIP HOP ALIVE WHILE BEING A GENTLEMAN AND RESPECTING OTHERS. BIGGA B, REST IN PEACE, U LIVE ON..AND ON…AND ON

PEACE TO SCOUT ONE O.G. KGB, KINGZ OF GRAFFITI BOMBIN a/k/a FLEA del MOTA LOCOS. REST IN PEACE PRIMO. U LIVE ON THROUGHYOUR SUN, AND THROUGH MY HEART, AND MY SOUL. I LOVE U. I SEE U UP THERE BOMBIN THE HEAVENS CUZ.

PEACE TO KENJI EDWARDS, O.G. VENICE SHOLINE CRIP. MY DADDY WASN’T SHIT, SO YOU SHOWED ME WHAT REAL DADDIES DO FOR THEIR DAUGHTERS. REST IN PEACE DADDY.

PEACE TO TUPAC SHAKUR. U LIVED AND DIED 4 L.A….WE’LL NOT LET YOUR LEGACY PASS IN VAIN. TAKE A LOOK DOWN WHEN U GET A CHANCE…PANTHER POWER’S IN FULL EFFECT. S.O.L.A.R.

PEACE TO PROBLEM ONE, K.I.L. KICKIN IT LIVE CREW. YOU TAUGHT ME WHAT TRUE LOVE WAS, THEN U FUCKED THAT NASTY BITCH AND MADE MY HEART TURN COLD. THANK U FOR STEELING MY RESERVE AND SHOWING ME THE EVIL THAT MEN DO. I LOVE YOU STILL. WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, LET’S GET BACK TOGETHER…FOREVER. "BREAK UP TO MAKE UP, THAT’S ALL WE DO”. THIS IS DEDICATED. 2. U.

PEACE TO MY VIRGINITY...I LOST U BEFORE I KNEW WHO YOU WERE. PEACE TO MY THREE UNBORN SUNS, FORGIVE ME FOR I TRESPASSED AGAINST U. TO MY FIRST SON, I WAS ONLY THIRTEEN; I SACRIFICED MY LIFE FOR U SO I COULD BE HERE TODAY. I WAS THE ONLY BABY I KNEW WHO DIDN'T KEEP HER BABY. TO MY SECOND SON...I HAVE NO EXCUSE, NO REASON, ONLY HEARTACHE. I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOWYOUR DADDY BETTER. I LOVE YOU. TO MY THIRD SON, THE ONE I ALMOST HAD; PLEASE FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER, FOR SHE KNEW NOT WHO SHE DID. WHEN YOUR FATHER GRABBED MY THROAT AND CHOKED ME OUT, I KNEW I HAD MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. U LIVE IN A BETTER PLACE FOR IT.

PEACE TO MY FOURTH SON, TO BE DETERMINED. THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST, AND THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST. NO MATTER WHO YOUR DADDY IS, LITTLE BABY, DON'T YOU CRY. YOUR DADDY'S RICH...AND YOUR MAMA? MIGHTY GOOD LOOKIN'. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU...I HOPE THAT WE CAN BE TOGETHER SOON.

LOVE IS LOVE
12/4/2005
LIVE FROM LAS ANGELES
WITH ONE GOOD LEG
MIRA...JA...UNA

ONE LOVE
ONE HEART
ONE DESTINY