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March 29, 2007

The Glitch in the Space-Time Continuum ... My Time Machine Needs a Tune-Up

I'll admit it. There's something wrong with me. I'm a mistake. A glitch in the matrix, I somehow slipped through the crack in the space-time continuum. You'd have to know my family to fully understand the meaning, but it's as if my Granny was my mom, I was her daughter, and my mom is my daughter. At least that's what was SUPPOSED to happen...

See instead of dropping in on this planet on April 6, 1974; I was supposed to drop in in 1944. That way, I could have dated in the 1950s. I never saw a prettier car than a '58 Cadillac. All I ever wanted was a promise, the truth, and a band of gold. And my true career goal is to become a housewife, balancing a baby on one hip, with a frying pan in one hand, and a toddler pulling on my apron strings.

The biggest red flag is the music. I love Hip Hop to death, always have, but for me it's always been Solid Gold, Killer Oldies, Slow Jams, and Doo-Wop. When I hear Gene Chandler singing "Duke of Earl", I don't say to myself, hey it's that Cypress Hill song (much as I love 'em). Nope, I just close my eyes, and imagine swaying to the music, my head resting on my guy's shoulder.

Even in the late 50s/early 60s, I would've been wearing Jimmy's ring like the girl in "Leader of the Pack". I would have had my run-ins with those "Mannish Boys". Naturally my man would be from the wrong side of the tracks, shit wouldn't be THAT different.

Dating, going steady, a promise ring, an engagement, a wedding...all of that reads like a fairy tale to me. I can count the women on one hand I know who've had things go that way. Sure there were a few babymamas back in the day, the result of messing with one of those ne'er do wells...but those babies ended up adopted by happy families, the mamas ended up in homes for wayward girls, and everyone turned out peachy keen!

True, I'd have missed the computer age, so no blog. But you know me, I would have kept the mother of all diaries.


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