Another male groupie (sigh)...>
Okay I've been in the hospital again so I couldn't blog. My friend had a surgery, she's still in a lot of pain. Still can't find a good doctor who respects the Hippocratic oath and don't need his/her PhD revoked; to do the surgery she really needs to truly get better. What was that movie where Denzel hijacked the hospital staff at gunpoint to get the care his family deserved? I haven't yet brought a piece of steel into the hospital with us, but I have a very large boxcutter and I'm not afraid to brandish it. Fix her or get buck-fiftied, bitches!!
Anyways, I was (re)searching something and I came across some old comments I made on UrbanExpose. The topic was Urban Box Office's demise and the sub-topic was, as I like to call them, "groupies-with-pens". People were calling out the name Dream Hampton, and I was saying...well...this
"I'm certain I'll catch mad flack for this post, but fuck it, here goes nothing. I am SO FUCKING SICK of the double standard. I don't know Dream Hampton personally, but I have to give her props for being a female journalist in this shit - I know how hard it is. I am tired of hearing people talk shit about her, and other women, because of who it is rumoured that they may have slept with. Why is a woman a hoe if she sleeps with X amount of men, while if a man sleeps with X amount of women, he's given props and accolades? Fuck that, I know 'nuff male hoes. Furthermore, you don't see Foxy Brown getting reamed in the media for fucking Ron Isley, R. Kelly, Allen Iverson, AZ, Kurupt, and other assorted industry/music/sports figures. And finally, the only reason you don't hear about male journalists sleeping with female artists is that the majority of the boy writers are fat and/or ugly and/or old and/or white, and very few of them have any semblance of game about themselves. However, if as an example Elliot Wilson slept with Lil Kim, he would be given props, pats on the back, kudos, big ups, etc. - UNLESS IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT HE ALSO ATE HER PUSSY. I'm done. The real, thinking people here know that this shit is a double standard and is mad tired. No more whispering in the hallways please. Keep it real. MJ"
Then I said this... "Well. First let me say this - it is not that we should defend Dream. I am simply using her as an example. Just like the Elliot Wilson/Lil Kim aside is not factual, just juxtaposing that possibility against the female journalist/male MC, DJ, Producer, etc. thing. Now "Lisa" I have never seen you apologize, and I accept your apology. However, I am heterosexual, and if I weren't so what? How would that skew my integrity or my standpoint at all? It would not. And if I were a lesbian, and I chose to have lesbian love with Lyte, or Latifah, or Missy, or any number of the rumoured-to-be-gay female artists out there - again I would be labeled a "hoe". The problem is not Dream Hampton. The problem is the treatment of women within the industry. I can't tell which came first - the chicken or the egg - did women become "groupies and whores" to get ahead in the industry, or did "groupies and hoes" push their way into jobs without the resumes to back them up? The point is it doesn't matter as long as there is this incredibly obvious lack of social equality. Men and women are not the same, I would be the last person to define equality as the two being identical. I'm just saying, CAN MYSELF AND MY SISTAS GET SOME MOTHAFUCKEN RESPECT UP IN THIS BITCH!?! Peace y'all. MJ"
In between the two, someone called me gay, someone else called me cute, someone else called me fat...the point is that these posts are ANCIENT, UE was crackin before I moved to NY the second time to work for Complex, which was in 2000. So nothing has changed about my politics or thoughts or rhetoric. Just thought I'd share. And Dream, if you're out there, I've still got your back. And to all the women out there, in the industry or not, get yours. People are going to hate on you, regardless. They're going to talk shit, regardless. Folks will call you names and downplay your worth, regardless. No matter what you do, especially if your work-product sells like hoecakes or makes a lot of money for your company or boss, don't worry - you will not receive credit, thanks, accolades, or the bare minimum of respect for your efforts. It's all just part of the joy of having ovaries, a uterus, and all that good stuff. And 99% of us wouldn't trade it for anything, well, maybe we'd trade the excruiciating menstrual cramps...
HATE ME NOW
p.s. A B-Boy invited me to be his guest at a jam out of town a couple of days ago, and I'm thinking of going. He said he hates having other B-Boys all up in his mix, but that he "Don't mind them seeing him whisper in my ear" the whole weekend. I am 100% sure he's never heard "the whisper song" and when he said what he said, it was the antithesis of that bullshit. Definitely a signpost on the path. God is great.