HAPS, SNAPS, SLAPS, and ROB SWIFT & I SELF DEVINE'S BOOM BAPS
Peace. Strap on your seatbelts, get a beverage, slap on reading glasses if U wear 'em...the bitch is back. First and foremost, for the first time in more than a month, I can actually fucken type again 'cause i tore off the fake-ass acrylic nails (yes, fake nails by Koreans) that have been hindering my progress in a major way. Although they do make the hands look nice, and sadly-but-truly are an attention-grabber for the male species. But a beast to cook in (someday I'll tell ya'll about the smothered pork chops (GASP!), garlic mashed potatoes, carmelized onion & white wine gravy and collard greens I fixed with them fake-ass, long-ass nails; and NO I didn't eat the pork chops or the gravy!)... In other news I have been on a hiatus dealing with some financial issues, infrastructure concerns, and personal matters. No, I don't have man. No, it's not your business. No, I'm not back at The Source. No, I'm not back stuck to the grind. No.
Moving on. I don't have the time nor energy to devote to my blood family, not even to return their emails most of the time, so please don't feel slighted if I haven't returned yours. Same goes for phone calls. Don't leave a message at the office, there are 666 un-checked voice mails on that shit and no one has the code to check it. Call it unprofessional if you want, or call my cell phone. Any questions? Don't take it personal. I walked from San Gabriel, to San Marino, to Pasadena yesterday so when you buy me a car, that's when you start calling shots. Take it how you want it, pimpin' - like B-Legit says I can give it you howeva U like. Nuff said.
Rob Swift "Who Sampled This".
WHOOOOOSH. That's the sound of me exhaling, and breathing again, finally, Toni Braxton and Terri McMillan notwithstanding. I was starting to buy those vicious rumours that Hip Hop was dead. That is, until I popped this wicked aural sensation into the Hello Kitty walkman and pressed play. "Who Sampled This" is a culmination of Rob Swift's lifelong devotion to digging, music history, and turntablism. A little dash of jazz, a splash of soul, some rude boy roots, a smattering of rhythm & blues (not r&B a/k/a rap & bullshit), plus a pinch of rock'n'roll are all expertly chef'ed up by the extraordinary Rob Swift. It's like I went to sleep watchin Herc and Bam soak the labels off their waxes, and woke up bumping this shit. Classic material - but for Rob, it's just another X-Ecution.
SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY
Intelligent, sexy Queen seeks Rugged Intellectual Thug for life-long mission encompassing Peace After Revolution. Must intend to love me like cooked food, not just love me for my home-cooked food. Fathers welcome...Baby Daddies need not apply. Currenly accepting applications - serious inquiries only. * References available upon request, or to those who try to test.
I THOUGHT I MIGHT RECITE A LITTLE POETRY FOR YA'LL...
They say God bless the child
Who's got Her own
What I got I reaped
From the seeds I sown
See I never went to church
But Sundays I listened to
The New Birth
Since my dominion on this Earth
See I ain't visit the Masjid
I did it my way
For years I rocked the veil
Three fourths of Hijab
Remainin a Queen on my Deen
Maintainin without a King by my side
You mighta thought you seen
Me slip and slide but
I stayed on the path
I just made One Nine
While I studied my Math
Surrounded by Seven
I could only be Two
There's no me without U
There's no you without
And when you touched me Baby
You touched a Queen
We touched a Dream
Yes, yes, ya'll. I have finally finished reading Danyel Smith's latest novel, BLISS. I love Eva, the main character of the story. I'm marinating on it and a review will forthcome here as well as on THE HOTNESS. Thanks Nicole.
"SHE'S MY DJ!"
FEMALE DJS WANTED
FOR A HIP HOP SCRATCH & MIX BATTLE COMPETITION
WE'RE LOOKING FOR YOU, IF YOU'RE:
- A FEMALE
- A DJ OR PRODUCER OF HIP HOP AND/OR URBAN MUSIC- READY TO COMPETE FOR TOP PRIZES FROM TOP MUSIC & MUSIC EQUIPMENT COMPANIES
We want to hear your mixing and scratching ability, quality of song selection and if you know how to get the crowd rocking! Send us your material or contact info to be considered:
Mocha Works Marketing
c/o AMP, Inc.
PO Box 340846
Rochdale Village, NY 11434
MEDIA, VENDORS & SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIESWILL BE AVAILABLE: SEND E-MAIL IF INTERESTED
SHAMELESS, SHAMELESS SELF PROMO
If you thought I go off typing/writing, and you don't know me personally or haven't heard me speak on a panel...you should listen to my 10-part audio interview at http://www.femmixx.com/interviewpage2.html. This interview ain't for everyone...only the sexy people, as Hervy Luv Bug would say on a Salt-N-Pepa record...wait a second...naw, naw... And if you haven't already, read my in-depth news feature on Mixtapes vs. the RIAA on SOHH.COM while I hustle & flow myself into some more shit.
OUTROS & SHOUT-OUTS
Aight, the renaissance B-Girl is out for now. Pardon this and any future mini-hiatuses (hiati?)... Like I said, buy me a Caddilac, I mean a car, and we'll talk.
LOVE IS LOVE
P.S. I SELF DEVINE's solo LP, SELF DESTRUCTION, in stores now, and he's on tour...don't sleep he's one of the illest who ever wrecked a mic.