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June 27, 2005

I'm Comin' Out...

Well, well, well, I'll be damned, I might as well tell you who I am...>
Besides being oh-so-blog-her-ific, I'm a beautiful blazin' B-Girl with a bevy of bylines. My nomes de plume are many, so just to get it all the way straight here's a little breakdown. Back in the day on NGE.org and on theDSC.com, you may have read some words from Queen Wise Intelligent. Of course everyone knows the e'day moniker, Miranda Jane. Some people just stick with MJ, which is actually a name given to me by Tragedy Khadafi; it's so funny when I hear my family or elders say "Hey, MJ!". exo and Chace Infinite, in an uprecedented case of concentric circles of contemplation, took "MJ" a step further and now it's "emjay". Then there's Nasira, a name given to me by one of my God Mothers, as in Nasira Salaam or Nasira Miranda Jane (Nasira = of the victorious one, helper of others).

As a recording artist I've been credited as Allah's Reflection, on Grimm's Downfall of Iblys and Madlib/Doom's Madvillainy - this name was chosen because of my affiliation with the S.O.L.A.R. Panel and S.O.L. MusicWorks - Sons of Light, Allah's Reflection; being one of the only Queen working amongst a crew of 30-some odd Kings, the attribute kind of stuck with me . Then of course there's Isis the Alchemist, she's got somethin' up at www.allhiphop.com right now! More obscure and harder to pinpoint is Nunya Biznet, say it aloud with the "t" silent until U get the drift. And (somewhat) finally, Marijuana Jones, which is my R&B name (look out for the album in 2006) and one I recently had the pleasure to bust as my byline. Check the wreckage, below.

*BIG UPS to Robbie and 'em who let this rock on the most scintillating buddha-blog ever, A Salute to Weed Carriers.

First of all, gully gutter shouts to all the weed-carryin' ladies in the house. Here's to the ones with "weed inside they pussies with they minds on the finer things in life/Props is a true thug's wife." Yeah, yeah, you know: "a few bitches who fucked dreads, on Sudafed, pussies hurtin', they did it for a yard for the feds". Rockin' - not lots of ice - but "four finger rings, and gold teeth, and ain't afraid to hold" weed.

It might go back to the days of the Juice Crew. Many have pondered as to how/why Marley Marl recruited a teenage Roxanne Shante into the crew at such a tender young age. For someone (presumably) named after Marley - Bob Marley - weed ownin' was most likely right up there with making funky music - a must. MC Shan, Craig G., and all the cats rockin with the Juice Crew were easy targets for a bust, right? But not young Lolita Golden a/k/a Roxanne Shante. She could freestyle all day, cold get retarded with Biz, and all the while have a couple of ounces stashed away for good measure, unbeknownst to the D's. She built a bridge for the queens of weed holdin' that came after her.

Think about it. Every new-school crew worth it's salt has a "first lady" right? Eve - the first lady of Ruff Riders. When Jada and Holiday Styles said "I need a ride or die bitch" they basically were on some "damn, I really need a nice-lookin‚ female w/c right about no" shit. Lil Kim started out as a weed carrier with the M.A.F.I.A. Funny, because she modeled herself after one of Brooklyn's most O.G. bitches and a sho' nuff weed owner, the original Queen Bee. Queen Bee used to rock flashy neon-colored wigs with matching fur coats, so she was obviously on some w/o shit. But Lil Kim, the Junior Queen Bee, she loved her some B.I.G. and wasn't ashamed to find 100 ways to stuff a couple O's up her scantily-clad coochie to prove it.

Now, one w/c comes to mind who really would have been an owner if gender bias didn't run shit. That would be none other than the first lady of the Flipmode Squad, yeah man, I'm talking 'bout Rah Digga. First of all, her babydaddy's her w/c - Young Zee - so there that go. Then, she damn near dope as Bussa Bus but gotta carry for him? It's gotta hurt. Then, just because she's Rahshida and not Rahquan, she gotta hold for this hypeman-ass Spliff Star kid too?! Pure fuckery, I tell you.

But see, the point of this thing is that there's even some feminism in the owning/carrying dichotomy. There are some strong women holding it down - I mean their man's holding it (on the down low). Their weed, that is. I give you Kelis, who's definitely the w/o of her house. Take young Beyonce, who - heaven forbid - don't puff trees. But if she did, it's looking like Young Hovito would "hold it for her". Lauryn Hill. Now, whether she's still with Rohan or not - he's Zion's daddy and most def a pro holder. Even with the Fugees, L-Boogie mighta held for Wyclef, but we all know Pras had to hold hers regardless.

But now, speakin on Fugee Lah, I have to give a fat shout out to my man Jon Forte, who's currently holdin' it down in the Fed. Hold your head, Forte. We know you ain't ask them blonde, Paris Hilton-looking skags to hold liquid coke for you. Shit, you can't help it if Joni Mitchell was holdin' your trees, and these random groupies decided they wanted to hold some other shit. Fuck that! Free Jon Forte.

I can't leave without shouting out the mother of all weed owners. Ladies and gents - Ms. Erykah Badu. She's had mad cats holdin' all her shit, gone off the ism. The Baduism, that is. We all know Andre 9000 was always bugged the fuck out, but after he carried for Badu, it was a (head)wrap for son in the clothing department. I think he had Cee-Lo hold some of hers for him on the low a couple times, because look how he started wearing pink feather flamingo pants? Now all these backpackers are back jocking Common Sense, but it's in the not-so-distant past that he was carrying mad isms for Badu and wearing manpris and floppy hats. Last I heard she had the D.O.C. holdin' for her out in TX, and he was already funky enough before he hit the Baduism. I'm saying, her w/h's and w/c's go On & On. Shit, the only dude who ain't hold for Erykah is M-1 from dead prez. Just goes to show you, dpz are from the old-school when it comes to holdin‚ and foldin‚, carryin‚ and marryin'.

So who am I holdin' for? I pity the fool, B. Don't play yourself. You know I'm the w/o!

- Marijuana Jones


At 5:30 PM, Blogger C'BS ALife Allah said...

Word. I only smoke what comes from the (my) Earth.  Holding since ’99.



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