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August 15, 2005

DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS











Who knew that moving back home to the West Coast would land me smack dab in the middle of the Lone Star State?

Thanks in part to a plethora of televisions in my new digs, replete with digital cable, Tivo, and all that old 'hood shit; I've contracted a rare affliction...HOUSTONITIS. Symptoms include 1) Swooning whenever I see Bun B in a video or hear his sizzirup-slow flow on a song; 2) tourette-like blurtings of "Who? Mike Jones! I said!!" at the most inopportune moments; 3) a greatest-love-of-all-esque feeling when Paul Wall is ice-grilling me from the big-screen TV; and 4) repeated requests from the household (and celebrity guests!) for heaping platefulls of smothered steak, mashed potatoes, collard greens, and - you guessed it - Texas Toast. More "Grape Kool-Aid", anyone?

While there is no cure for Houstonitis, the affliction itself has cured me of my decades-long addication to indie, underground, "conscious", and/or backpack rap. Give me the drawl, ya'll. Slim Thug. YES. Webbie? Why the fuck not? UGK! Always that, put it on repeat, Riding Dirty works for me. Free Pimp C. U goddamn right. I have two more words for ya'll. BOTANY. BOYS.
As long as no one brings up South Park Mexican, we're good to go.

Re: The Dukes of Hazzard. No I ain't see the movie, they don't have bootlegs in L.A. folks. However, if they'd re-made the film for Urban starring Lil' Kim as Daisy Duke, E-40 as Boss Hawg, and T.I. and Saafir as them Duke boys...I'd be in the front row with popcorn, candy and a tall glass of syrup.

DJ SCREW POR VIDA

Mira, Ja Una (La Payasita)

15 Comments:

At 4:09 PM, Blogger Q said...

Seriously... cats like Slim Thug are misogynistic, violent, vulgar, simple-minded and don't really talk about anything worth meaning... but for some reason I CANNOT stop listening to "Already Platinum"... what is the deal?

"I don't take 'em out to eat
I ain't here to trick or treat
I ain't trying to fix your weave
I ain't heard of that!!
I'm just here to train ho's
Put 'em on the main road
Teach 'em how to 'Change Clothes'
I know you heard of that!!"

One of the dopest albums of the year... I mean, next to Common, ya know?

 
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