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October 27, 2006

Leave the Guns (and the Crack, and the Knives) Alone!

After working another 11-hour day, then commuting home on L.A.'s fascinating public transportation system, the last thing I want to do is get back online only to read about Snoop getting busted, Havoc and Alchemist being arrested, another rapper I've never heard of being shot, etc., etc., etc. While these are certainly headlines in the "rap rag" onlines that dominate what passes for Hip Hop journalism on the "internets" I KNOW that something positive happened today in the world of Hip Hop and the urban music biz. Someone signed a big deal, or started a new venture, or made money with one they've been at for a while. Furthermore, someone on the underground/indie/grassroots/alternative/Hip-Hop scene did something worthwhile today, something newsworthy, something beneficial, affecting social change or edutainment or politrix or our "worth" within the music business.
The problem is, no one's writing about that. It's all sensational. It's cool to be shot! It up's your street cred to get arrested packing heat in your car! And we all know that more street cred = bigger record sales. Or if we're not talking about that it's something about hoes or alleged-homosexuality/homothugism. Talking shit about Superhead and Nas' babymoms Carmen openly and trying to diss Kim O. subliminally. Or how about the rumour that Jay-Z is breaking up with Beyonce 'cause one of the verses on his new album talks about the trials and tribulations of their relationship? Better yet, the photo circling the internets of Lil Wayne and Baby (p/k/a The Birdman) "kissing" each other...where any asshole can see that they have their hands clasped in greeting and are leaning in to give the man-dap-almost-hug, but the camera angle hits it like their faces are going to meet.
Get the fuck out of here with all that shit. I appreciate sites like Bossip.com or GossippingBitches, 'cause they're keeping it ugly about the fact that it's a lot of pomp, hype, innuendo, double-entendre, gossip and Rap & Bullshit. When I'm on AllHipHop.com, or Sohh.com, or TheSource.com (which is surprisingly/amazingly/incredibly dope right now in terms of design and MUCH of the content! Go, J.Mill! Go, Fahiym! Go, Big Ced!!); I don't want to read about this type of shit. It's defeatist and does nothing to promote positivity. It's actually warmongering, dry-snitching, and promoting the agenda of the cops and the government; who'd love to see every rapper shot - dead - or at the very least shipped off to do a nice long bid in the nearest maximum security penal facility.
Or haven't you heard, that's where the new-millenium slavery is taking place; where men and women who look just like you are forced to live in subhuman conditions while manufacturing products that you use every day for mere pennies a day, which goes into a "restitution" account anyway and not to their families on the outside or toward their food, toiletries, and other basic needs.
Oh but wait, you just want to party, and bullshit, and party, and bullshit. Well, Hip Hop started out with parties, when Herc DJ'd his sister's going-back-to-school party in the BX; or when Bam started posseing up with mad heads to unite in Peace and have fun, Zulu/Gestapo style. So does that mean that Hip Hop is going to end on some bullshit? We're close people. We're almost fucken there.
I know many of the most brilliant, lyrically adept, cerebral, thinking, clever, talented, gifted, compelling, linguistic MCs in America. And very few of them are doing more than eking out an existence with this Hip Hop shit. And it's not 'cause they're "backpack rappers" (I made that term up in the early 90s anyway, ask Bilal Allah or Allen Scott Gordon if you hate/doubt), or 'cause they're "underground". It's 'cause Jibbs has a record deal. Cause his chain hangs low, and it wobbles to and fro. It's 'cause DJ Webstar and some nameless homegirl of his have a song about m'fukken Chicken Noodle Soup...with a soda on the side. This is not Hip Hop. This shit put the "rap" in crap. This is the new R&B...I call it Rap and Bullshit.
TO ALL LABEL HEADS, HIGH-LEVEL MUSIC EXECS, AND MOST PARTICULARLY ALL ARTIST & REPERTOIRE (A&R...DOOOHHH...THAT'S WHAT IT STANDS FOR!) MEN. I AM ISSUING YOU A CLEAR AND PRESENT WARNING. IF YOU SIGN ONE MORE OF THESE IGNANT BASTARDS, OR PUT OUT ONE MORE SONG THAT IS ASININE AND WITHOUT A SINGLE IOTA OF RELEVANCY; OR IF YOU PUT OUT ONE MORE "FIRST LADY OF "X"" AND DRESS HER LIKE A STREETWALKER AND BUY HER GHOSTWRITTEN RAPS AND CALL HER THE 2007 MC LYTE...
I WILL SUICIDE-BOMB YOUR OFFICE.
AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME COMING.
Please
End
Aggravating
Crappy
"Entertainment".
Miranda Jane
The Terrorist Journalist

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