360 Waves (To The Side Tho)
So you thought that Mister Donald Trump had mastered the comb-over; simply by parting his shit waaaaay to the left, say about 2 inches above the ear? He may not be a hair club member, nor the president...but one thing's sure...He has nothing on the illustrious Mr. Don King. Word.
Mi Jefito pointed out something today about the side-part; that it's a crutch for Black men who've gone on in years. It came up during convo about GZA, and then Raekwon...then of course the Honorable Brother Minister Louis Farrakhan's name came up (or as I like to think of him, Mustafa's daddy...can FOI/NOI have more than one wife, and if so can one be light-bright-almost-white???)
So this got me to thinking about Rastas and those with dreads, in particularly those with an ever-so-slightly receding hairline. Think Wyclef Jean, or perhaps Sway of MTV fame if U can imagine him sans-headwrap.
Word is Jermaine Dupri cut the wig back a'la Michael Jordan/Charles Barkley 'cause the 'line was heading back toward the nosebleed seats... This prompted me to dig in the crates for an instant messenger convo with the illustrious XXX re: Jermaine's hairline. Only for the sexy people...
XXX: This nigga said
MIRAJUANA 22: oh dear...(bracing self)
MIRAJUANA 22: (clutching pearls)
XXX: Jermaine Dupri looks like a 12th century mongolian warrior with half a head of hair
MIRAJUANA 22: OH MY GENGHIS KHAN
XXX: And now that he cut his hair off he looks like an old gerbil
MIRAJUANA 22: LOL
MIRAJUANA 22: well better to cut the hair
XXX: LOL @ the hip hop Sherman Hemsley
MIRAJUANA 22: then have a half-sway, half-A.J., half-Wyclef wigg
MIRAJUANA 22: not the hip hop sherman hemsley
MIRAJUANA 22: movin on up no hair on top
MIRAJUANA 22: if i was with sway (YUKKKK) he'd have to get the wake-up-with-a-haircut show
MIRAJUANA 22: wahl is waiting to make him their corporate sponsor
XXX: LMAO @ the Wake Up With A Haircut Show
XXX: He's like LL... What IS under the bandana?
MIRAJUANA 22: seriously, his shit is SOOOO far back
MIRAJUANA 22: u can see the hairline under the layers of baduwrap
MIRAJUANA 22: and, as bart from 3xkrazy used to say, it is Bee Aye Dee
MIRAJUANA 22: now let me stop before i need female rogaine courtesy of karma-r-us
Hopefully that was so much infamous-mobb-bonics no one was offended, other than the guilty...but damn if it didn't tickle my memory banks into recalling perhaps the most egregious man-hair faux-pas of a lifetime...AJ formerly of 106/Park fame when I photographed him at one of Russell's rallys in NY. Dreads on top and in back, cornrows with extensions on the sides. I was shooken, deeply. Hmmmm...men with extensions/box braids/individuals??
Save the rare occurrence of alopecia, or a severe accident with perms, relaxers, or dyes; most women don't have to worry about this receding hairline fuckery. With men I'm told you get your hairline from your Mama's Daddy...a/k/a Big Daddy or Gramps.
But for those men stressing about their grays, or the way-2-the-side part in their waves, or the days-long-past when their locks were a lot closer to their forehead in the front I'll give you a little wisdom (a/k/a throw you a bar). Women don't care about your hairline, or the color of your hair; and furthermore don't look at your external image when it comes to how you're wearing your age.
Bitches and hoes care about that shit, but you know what? FUCK 'EM.
Women are much more concerned with what's going on inside your head, or eminating from your crown chakra.
And that's one to grow on...no carrot oil required.
Peace & Hair Grease,
Mira Ju Ana