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March 20, 2005

Mama - The Prequel

In the beginning, mama gave birth to the soul children. And the blues children. And the jazz children. Be-Bop, Rock N Roll, Soul, Rhythm and Blues… Then one day, mama gave birth to the Hip Hop generation. She said, ain’t nothing wrong with holdin a spray can in your hand, chile. Go ‘head baby, uprock, jump bad, backspin and windmill til your soul feels free. It’s alright with me baby. Rock steady, now. Put that good black vinyl record in your hand, and cut, scratch, transform til the break of dawn, sugar. It’s alright with your mama, now go on. You just pick up that microphone and say them rhymes puddin’, it sho’ nuff sounds good to me!

Well, it’s been a few decades, and Mama ain’t quite in the same selfless mood when it comes to Hip Hop. It’s not Mama’s fault, Lord no, you know that woman loves the babies and the grandbabies, and even the great grand babies, that’s Ma Dear for you. It’s just that she come up in a time when all this dis-re-spect wasn’t called for (well it still ain’t) and she frankly just ain’t used to that language, Baby. All those bitches and hoes and well what does a damn garden tool and an old tired female dog got to do with Hip Hop no how? Maybe some of that good hoe cake bread to go with that fried fish and them good greens…

So around came a cold winter ‘round about 2005? Yeah, sometime around that time. There was a whole lotta snow, and a whole lotta cold. And mama had some time to her self to just marinate and think on this whole situation. So she called up Granny, and she called up Auntie, and she called up Cousin Lady, and Ma Dear, and Baby Girl and she said, babies, we got to have us a little talk. A little sit-down just amongst us women folks. But let’s wait til June, it’ll be a little warmer then, maybe some sunshine will ameliorate the situation.

Now, mama ain’t playin. She just wanna hear all the ladies reach a consensus, then it’s time’s up. Play time is over. You on some serious punishment. Go outside and get a switch. And get your ass ready for that whuppin’, ‘cause you been had it comin’ and if you don’t know, now you know.

It’s a new day. A new dawn. Father Time’s been actin’ up a storm, and Mother Nature’s just about had it up to here. She’s on some real “Ladies First” shit right about now. Seriously, Mama gave birth to the Soul Children. Buddy’s fine and all that, but a pussy ain’t nothin’ but a cat. And you don’t beat on nothing but a ball with a bat. Now, ya’ll KNOW better! You was tryin’ to get over on Mama, and you had your turn. Now playtime is over, and suckas burn to learn. You’ll get no easy props over here, and you’ll get up on the good foot to give her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T when she get home. Papa’s got a brand new bag, and it’s a man’s world, but always remember this – it wouldn’t be nothing, NOTHING, without a woman or a girl. So take it back to the old school, you B-Boy and we’ll B-Girl. When we’ve finally found Peace watch a Love unfurl. Face it…you need love. Thugs need hugs, not drugs. Tricks are for kids, but this is grown folks music…so if you’re ready, come go with me. I hope that we can be together soon.

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